ahh, the joys of the open road

"it's time to make the outside lane of any carriageway subject to a decent minimum speed limit of 70mph"

Driving-related Rants and Raves

There were so many of these, I've given them their own section :-)

However, before reading on, just a bit of background: I'm not the owner of some flash Porsche or Ferrari (far from it); I'm not a "Joe Smoke and the Ton-up Scumbags" type; I don't go around speeding everywhere. All I do is drive a fair amount, and want nothing more out of this existence than to be able to do a reasonable (read: the speed limit plus or minus 10%), safe, speed without being hassled by ignorant tossers and slow vehicles where they shouldn't be! It's not much to ask is it...?

News! 17 June 2001: The BBC's "So you think you're a good driver?" poll of driving hates backs up many of Nosher's very-own rants. In a survey of motorists, the top six included failure to indicate and mid-lane tossing!

Wot's this Highway Code deeley then?

Nobody seems to know what this contains. Either that or they just throw it out of the window as soon as they've passed their test (on a related note, research suggests that people need to have driven around 100,000 miles before they can really appreciate risk and what's going on around them at a purely unconscious-competence level). Anyhoo - need a refresher? Visit the Highway Code on-line.

Mid-lane tossers

The UK's Highway Code states (Section 117) that the outside lanes on any multi-laned carriageway should be used for overtaking only, and therefore that vehicles should return to the inside lane at the first safe opportunity. So why is there always some TOSSER that insists on cruising up the middle lane on a 3-lane highway, completely oblivious to anything happening around them?! The compliant motorist is then forced to either:

The police can (and occasionaly do) haul drivers over for "mid-lane tossing" (driving without due care and attention), but there's obviously some enormous failure in terms of driver education going on. Another solution could be to allow US-style lane discipline (which seems to be more-or-less pick a lane and stick with it). Whilst this is potentially slightly more dangerous on one hand, especially for cars which lack a nearside wing-mirror, it's probably offset by the reduction in driver frustration, and improved traffic flow in busy periods.


Tossers: A whole bunch of M.L.T's do their thang on the A14 in Suffolk. Note the completely empty inside lane...
more mid-lane tossers

Gah! mid-lane tossers: just say no.

Stop calling crashes "Accidents"

As long as the media, the masses and even the Police continue to refer to vehicle crashes as "accidents", then nobody is going to take it seriously. An accident implies that the was no reason. However, almost all crashes, barring those resulting from unforseeable mechanical failure, have a cause of some sort: too fast, too slow, inappropriate behaviour, poor judgement. I wouldn't want to suggest that fatal crashes were neccessarily deliberate, but there is nearly always a traceable factor that led to the crash. It's just a tragedy that innocent parties can be taken out by such incidents. Toasting yourself is one thing, but it shouldn't hassle anyone else.

HGV speed limits

Am I the only person on the planet who thinks that HGVs are too slow already? In the UK, the Ministry of Transport, in collusion with the Police State, has seen fit to restrict the speed of HGVs (heavies) to 56mph (90kph) by the use of governors (devices that restrict the maximum speed). In addition, each vehicle is fitted with a tachograph which records the speed the vehicle has been doing (and for how long). This restriction is done on the basis of "safety":

The kinetic energy, E, of a small car moving at 30mph (48kph) is 66,333Nm (0.5 x mass x velocity-squared, 750kg, 13.33 m/s). The energy of a 38-tonne heavy at the same speed is 3,360,910Nm - around 50 times as great. Scary. However, consider a rear-end shunt where (for the sake of argument) all kinetic energy is transferred as destructive force, a heavy would have to be doing only 6.68kph, or 4 miles an hour, to inflict the same damage as a car doing 30mph. Quite obviously, heavies aren't going to drive around at this sort of speed, which begs the question what on earth's the point of restricting them to 56mph in the first place?!!. OK, I've noticed that many incidents involving heavies are speed-related in the sense that they tip over at roundabouts quite a lot (causing massive congestion), but this is utterly unrelated to their maximum speed in a straight line on a dual-carriageway (i.e. they still manage to do this despite being governed down to 56mph). You are *never* going to legislate out crashes by restricting the top speed of a vehicle (unless it's to walking speed), besides, car drivers by and large manage to restrain themselves to the appropriate speed even when their vehicles are capable of much more, so why not credit heavy drivers with the same judgement?

A word from "inside the industry" the other day told me that there had been a police campaign in Norfolk recently, which was pulling over HGVs that were exceeding 40mph in single-carriageway roads. Huh??! I didn't know before, but apparently the limit for HGVs on such roads is only 40mph. This is pathetic. Quite obviously the people who make this stuff up never spend *any* time whatsoever actually driving themselves up and down roads like the A140 in Norfolk and Suffolk - single carriageway for most of its length and notorious for heaving, desperately slow traffic. My point is that if a heavy is going to crash into anything, then unless it's only doing 3mph, whatever it hits is going to be toast (believe me - I've seen it). Let HGVs do a decent speed (e.g. 60mph) and stop them shagging up the roads of Britain! Yeah!

Lack of indication

Probably the car-world's most common nuisance - the failure to use indicators at roundabouts, junctions and whenever performing manoeuvers. There's also a curious and little-known fact that is the more expensive cars are only fitted with indicators as an extra option, and most drivers therefore don't bother to have them installed. At least, this must be the explanation for their almost total lack of use amongst the luxury-company-car fleet (Mercs, Beamers and Audis seem especially afflicted by this feature). I had to gasp the other day as a Mercedes actually a) used its indicators and b) pulled in to the inside lane after overtaking a mid-lane tosser. I'm fond of muttering to cars at T junctions that aren't indicating something like "Oh, going straight over then? Into the wall?". Grrr.

Indicators as instant right-of-way

A curious parallel to the above is almost the opposite: the propensity of some drivers (especially HGVs, which is more than a little scary) to consider using their indicators as if they established a sudden, immutable right-of-way. Indicators are an indication of intent - turning them on does not mean that you can just pile out into another lane at will :-) Somebody summed it up nicely recently - some people seem to think of indicators as "I'm doing this", and not "I'm going to do this".

Fog lights

For anyone who has driven on motorways on a drizzly day, this one needs little introduction. Referring once more to the trusty Highway Code, it states that "You MUST NOT use front or rear fog lights unless visibility is seriously reduce. You MUST switch them off when visibility improves to avoid dazzling other road users (Law RVLR reg 27)". This obviously does not include:

Even when use of foglights is appropriate (like, er, when it's foggy), they should nevertheless be turned off if you're in traffic (e.g. when queued, or in a stream of moving traffic where you might be a few lengths away from other cars). Basically, my rule is if you can see the other car, it does not need to see your high-intesity reds as well :-)

It's perhaps the last of the above situations that gets me the most - using front fog lights (apparently, manufacturers sometimes laughingly refer to them as "driving lights") as if they were some extra pair of headlights, and somehow look more "cool" than just the regular lights. Hot-hatch Peugeot 206's can often be seen razzing around with theirs on (do they switch on automatically with the ignition, like Volvo sidelights do?). It's not cool - it's just stupid .

Solution? Perhaps one way of sorting out front foglights is an idea that sometimes floats around my head in more nihilistic moments: a kind of ball-bearing launcher that unleashes a spray of tiny steel balls at fog-light level into the path of the oncomming offender. This would then break the lenses of the foglights, and possibly the bulbs as well. If not, perhaps the change in temperature, or introduction of water if it's raining would be enough to crack the hot quartz-glass halogen bulbs within.

(laughs manicly to self)

Heavies burning out heavies

I have great respect for the driving skills of HGV (heavy) drivers. I once spent a day in a 38-tonner as it went from Diss to Bognor Regis to deliver 20 tonnes of paper, then on to my mother's house in the New Forest (in order to pick up some furniture) and back. It offered a fascinating insight into the road-world from the lofty eyes of a heavy driver (cars scurrying around like annoying ants, etc). It also featured playing "Stairway to Heaven" on a classical guitar in the HGV lorry-park of Fleet Services on the M3, and sleeping in the cab overnight.

Heavy drivers' ability to control their huge vehicles, particularly when navigating around warehouse loading bays and the like, is pretty impressive: I've driven a few tractors around with trailers full of straw, and that's difficult enough.

I also understand the reason why heavies have problems overtaking each other. Each vehicle is normally fitted with a governor that regulates the vehicle's speed to 56mph. However, each governed speed differs slightly (or seemingly in the case of continental heavies, or drivers who have popped the fuse to the tachograph, there's no imposed limit and they can sometimes do 70mph), and having driven slow diesel vans I can also see why drivers are desperate to retain their speed once it's been achieved (as it can take miles to reach maximum).

However, none of this excuses the habits of heavies to:

All it needs is a bit of consideration - one at a time, etc. If motorway and dual-carriageway limits are raised to 80mph (which they should :-), then the problems will only get worse as the difference between governed heavies and cars gets even worse. Traffic flow is a sensitive thing, constantly verging on the edge of chaos. It doesn't take much to destabilise the flow, leading to the classic stop-start traffic that often happens seemingly without cause. Most of the congestion I've witnessed, particularly the "clumping" variety is nearly always associated with some slow moving vehicle, and the particular problems associated with mixing slow and fast traffic. (Slow vehicles tend to congregate together. Upon coming across something even slower, each fights to overtake the slow vehicle and each other. This forms a sort of slow-moving "plug" to other faster-moving traffic, which then builds up for miles behind).

One option is to raise the governor limit on heavies (although the kinetic energy of a 40 tonner doing 70mph is pretty staggering). Another radical (admittedly unpopular in certain quarters) solution would be to ban the use of the outside lane of any carriageway to slow-moving vehicles (except when the obstacle is something like a tractor), or impose a minimum speed limit. As compensation, haulage companies could be offered rebates on our extortionate fuel duties. That way, not only does traffic move better, but freight is hauled more cheaply (it would still offset the few minute increase in journey times as heavies would no longer be able to burn each other out). Everyone's a winner!

Slow cars / people with hats

This is a quick one - there's no excuse for cars to not to do a reasonable, considerate speed, given appropriate conditions. For example, on a dry day on a clear 60mph road, then do 60mph, not 40. Even worse are drivers who just do 40mph everywhere: motorway, main road and in a 30mph limit. A regular driver gets stuck behind cars like this on the open road, only to watch them speed off once reaching a 30. As much as the police should pay attention to ton-up scumbags (and not the 80mph majority on the motorway), they should also do more about slow drivers (there seems to be a correlation between this and people who drive with hats on). IMHO, these can be far more of a hazzard than fast stuff.

Section 145 of the Highway Code states: "Do not hold up a long queue of traffic, eespcially [but not exclusively - my emphasis] if you are driving a large or slow-moving vehicle. Check your mirrors frequently, and if neccessary, pull in where it is safe and let traffic pass.

Speed cameras merely as a cash-cow

We live in a fascist state (or so it seems sometimes). Government thinks it can legislate out every risk and danger in society. It cannot. Speed cameras were originally intended for use in genuine accident blackspots, and certainly can slow traffic down where present (at least once all the locals get to know their whereabouts). However, since police authorities now receive the cash earned from speed cameras, it's become a cash cow. Speed cameras pop up everywhere for purely punitive reasons (i.e. non-safety), and new ones even have the ability to record registration plates (in fact they work by timing a number plate between two known points, so drivers can't just slow down for them and then speed up). This has become not so much about safety, but about societal control.

I don't speed (I stick to the unofficial National Association of Chief Police Officers rumoured limit of 79mph on motorways, so call that speeding if you're a pedant). I've never been nicked for speeding, and never been caught on camera (because, er, I don't speed). But I still rant about this as it's just downright annoying and symptomatic of a much wider malaise - that of the control-freakery of the nanny state.

Conclusion

When it comes to the roads, no-one's a perfect driver (I know I'm not). I do loads of stuff that I probably shouldn't, but these "road rants" are about things that should be just basic courtesy. As society gets more and more competitive, and our roads get ever-more congested, a few basic manners and some consideration become ever more important!

I feel a little better now... :-)